high low cocktail dresses

Ode to the Green Velvet Pants.
So, back in 1997 I owned a pair of green velvet pants. I don't know how I acquired them; maybe they were hand me downs or I picked them up in a thrift shop, no idea. I'm not even sure how long they were sitting in my closet before the day I finally chose to wear them.

I usually stuck with loose fitting, casual denims with cute tops and little eclectic accessories. But that day I wanted to feel... more. They were very fitting, more so than I was comfortable with but they made my butt and legs go PLOW! So yeah, a win. Paired them with a cute fitted green sweater, some chunky keels and I was killin' it.

At school I owned those hallways like my every step was being posted on instagram. I came across this guy, Eric, whom I'd only recently been made aware of. Apparently he'd been asking his boys about me. We crossed paths, smiled in acknowledgement and went in opposite directions. Something told me to look over my shoulder and when I did... he was walking backwards and definitely checking me out in approval. It was my one and only slow mo movie walk ever. I felt like a BAMF lol

A year later I'm staring into my closet once more. My high school sweetheart had spent the night due to having the day off and well... even though we were comfortably happy and utterly in lurve, I had that need to feel MORE that day. So out came the pants.

They were tighter than I remembered (love and happiness makes you gain weight) and I probably would have nixed them and chosen something else. But my boyfriend, bless his brutally honest heart, said "They look a little tight". How. Dare. He... point out the obvious.

Well, my ego and stubbornness kicked in, I dug in my heels and decided to wear them anyway. I was regretting my life decisions before I even got to school. They weren't just uncomfortably tight... I felt like I'd just had abdominal surgery, they hurt so bad. I could barely walk, let alone care if anyone thought I looked good in them. No confident smoldering looks for me, I was in pain and it was all over my face. Pretty sure I looked like I was cramping or bleeding internally to anyone who took notice. high low cocktail dresses

I finally limped into Theatre Arts, my favorite class, and for the first time all day, I was distracted enough from my discomfort. We were playing the improv game 'Freeze Tag'. Two people act out a scene suggested to them, then someone else calls 'freeze', taps one of the players out and takes their exact body position and changes the scene to something else.

Getting into it, I called 'freeze!' and tapped my friend out of her squatting position. I don't know what idea I had to change the scene. It could have been academy award winning, we'll never know. Because as soon as I squatted down there was this comically loud, movie sound effect 'RIIIIIIIIIIIIP'.

My thighs were so desperate for air, they didn't even tear the pants on the seam. They shredded those velvet pants from butt to knee like I was transitioning to the Hulk. I just sat there and all I could do was laugh. Partly out of embarrassment, part chagrin but mostly out of relief.

Everyone was staring at me in confusion and concern and my teacher was like "Are you okay?" My answer, "I split my pants."

The whole class started laughing and fortunately for me, a friend of mine had some spare windpants in her locker I could wear. It didn't matter that they clashed with my sweater and heels... I could friggin breathe again!

When I came home with shredded pants in arm, my boyfriend was good enough to keep his big mouth shut and into the trash they eventually went. A perfect bookend to the most exciting article of clothing I've ever owned <3